On Doing the Most (and Why I Don’t Anymore)

There was a time when “doing the most” was my entire identity. I was the go-to. The reliable one. The fixer. The overachiever. I wore it like a badge—until it stopped feeling like strength and started feeling like suffocation.


The truth is: I didn’t need to try harder.
I needed to let go.


What “Doing the Most” Looked Like

At the time, it didn’t feel unhealthy. It felt responsible.
I was:

  • Saying yes before I checked my own schedule

  • Juggling 10 things and calling it balance

  • Treating rest like a reward instead of a requirement

  • Showing up for everyone—except myself

On the surface, I was handling it. But inside, I was stretched thin, stuck in a cycle of urgency and exhaustion.


The Turning Point

I didn’t hit rock bottom. There was no dramatic collapse.
Just a quiet moment where I looked at my full calendar and thought,
"This can’t be it."

That was the shift.
I didn’t want to be known for doing the most.
I wanted to be known for doing what mattered—and doing it well.


What I Do Now Instead

These days, I move slower. But with more direction.

  • I check in with myself before I commit

  • I build in margin, not just meetings

  • I let go of the need to prove anything through productivity

  • I trust that showing up fully matters more than showing up constantly

And no, I don’t have it all perfectly figured out.
But I’m not chasing “the most” anymore. I’m choosing what feels aligned.


If You’re in That Place Too…

If you’re tired of managing it all but scared to drop the ball—start small.
Ask yourself:

  • What am I doing just to keep up?

  • What would I still choose if no one expected it of me?

  • What could I let go of, even just this week?

You don’t need to prove your worth through exhaustion.
You’re allowed to lead your life differently.

Because doing the most isn’t the goal. Doing what matters—and doing it well—is.


J A Y L A B A S T I E N

Operations Executive based in New York City, sharing resources that help women thrive in their careers, businesses, and lives. Whether sharing success strategies or reflecting on life's pivots, the goal is simple: to help you move forward with clarity and purpose as you create the life that you want.

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